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luciouslucius said: Why have you been avoiding me, Severus?

Why, Lucius, I have been hardly avoiding you. In fact, I believe quite the opposite is true….

beastlybeauty28 said: What is your stance on Ear Cuffs? I'm afraid of needles, so I've never gotten my ears pierced or a tattoo. I was shopping a few months ago, and came across these beautiful ear cuffs. They basically cuff right onto the outter most ledge of the ear. I have two plain ones, one that looks like a little man hanging from my ear, and a snake that is slithering down my ear. Do you think these are over-the-top punk, or are they an acceptable replacement for real earrings?

They can be a super fabulous addition to your wardrobe! I don’t believe they’d be over-the-top, but rather an expression of your personality. However, it’s your own decision - good luck making it, and stay sassy!

Anonymous said: Hello Mr. Sassy Snape. I have this secret that I'm afraid to reveal. I'm a Gryffindor and a lot of my friends think I am a man-whore with the ladies, but the real thing is that I am gay. I love guys and it frustrates me that I have to hide in my fabulous closet. I need your help, Sassy Snape. What should I do?

This is a really difficult question. Unfortunately, you can’t hide in your fabulous closet (and be comfortable inside it) forever. At some point, you’re going to have to tell your friends your true preference. Chances are, they’ll accept you for who you are and be glad you told them. If they don’t accept it, don’t waste your time on those crazy bitches. Find friends who will love the fabulous and true you, not matter what, because good friends are out there!

hauntedcastle said: Hello Professor dear. I was wondering, how to do you deal with the bad type of bitches and be fabulous while doing it?

The best way to deal with them is to avoid them. However, if they come running after you, or the confrontation is inevitable, don’t sink to their level. No name-calling or cursing on your side. Stay level-headed and don’t say anything that, if overhead, would land you a detention with Filch. Because, believe me, that is not fabulous.

dreamsinink said: Professor, I am a Gryffindor and I was wondering if you could help me with something, no it's not Occlumency lessons so chill out. I always find my hair being affected by the elements no matter how much gel I put on it, whether that is cooking up some potions or going to the club or the DREADED rain. Any tips to keep perfect hair?

Yes, I should know one or two things about maintaining perfect locks. For the most part, it’s a lot of experimentation. But the golden rule is to not stress your hair out. If you dye it, straighten it, dye it again, overwash it, it’s not going to behave. However, you can’t neglect it.

Love your hair, you stupid betches!

proustianrecall said: Dear Professor, at what point does vintage clothing stop looking cool and start looking costume-y?

When the person who wore it when it was popular is now dead. By that time, the style is pretty dead too.

belalugosilives said: Sassy Gay Snape, I have a Sassy Gay friend who needs some serious fashion-vention. He wears these horrid striped ties and scarves in gold and crimson. It just looks sooooo tacky. Any advice on how to fix this fashion disaster?

Either Confringo or Reducto would do the trick, I believe.